Day 3: Chrysalis

A partner read my poem and gave me some suggestions.

First, my partner said to take out the “what a ride” part at the end of the poem because it made the ending seem cheesy. He also said I should remove extra words that take away the meaning of what I’m really saying. For example I said “I feel at ease now”. If I take away the “now”, it makes me overall emotions a little more clear throughout the poem. Since I’m changing how I feel so much, using different words do matter. He liked how descriptive it was and how he felt like he was apart of the ride. The mystery through the piece made it compelling but changing word choice will keep that excitement in the poem.